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I remember thinking they were only used to avoid having babies, but not necessarily understanding that they were protecting me in the same vein.I always say that I was the first person I met who knowingly and openly had HIV. I had been sexually assaulted when I was 18, and the next week I was deathly sick for four or five days. They ran all the tests, but at the time it wasn’t protocol for the ER to give an HIV test when you came for an emergency. I don’t know what that feeling is, but I just knew I had it.They were just like: “Here are all of the horrible things that can happen to you if you have sex, so don’t do it.And that was it.”There was no room for conversations about gender, consent, or sexuality, which at the time-those are prime years when queer and trans kids are figuring out what’s going on.From Esquire I was 13 when I had my first sexual experience with another guy. The symptoms were ordinary-a few coughs, a runny nose-but that didn’t stop me from working myself into a panic.I was convinced I had contracted HIV/AIDS, and would soon be dead.They had this very different lens of talking about how people interact with each other and that included a lot about sex, too, and relationships.

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Screenings, all of those things their moms don’t necessarily know about because they’re not black queer men.

I was born in 1987, three days before Larry Kramer founded the influential advocacy group ACT UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) in reaction to the nearly at the hands of government foot-dragging and political neglect.

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