Dating someone with alcoholism
It’s like he thinks it didn’t really happen because he doesn’t remember it. He gets drunk, he screws up, he hears you out the next day, he says he’s sorry. Trust me, you will get tired of this endless cycle very quickly. It still won’t work, unless you’re willing to settle for a dysfunctional relationship.
I’m not sure what I was thinking — or if I was thinking at all — but at least I learned some pretty valuable lessons from the experience. These guys may seem like the life of the party, but in reality they’re just big fat headaches. Some guys are completely different people when they’re drunk. If someone is an awful drunk and he’s drunk most of the time, you have a huge issue. Take care of yourself, and remove yourself from the situation. If he takes steps to work on the problem for himself, then and only then is the relationship potentially salvageable. He needs you to be there for him no matter how badly he screws up, and you need to feel needed. No one likes to be second best to anything in love. If he’s going to heal, he has to do it for his own reasons. If you are his only motivation, he’s doomed to fail.That might mean having a real conversation about your role in their recovery, but it can also sometimes mean walking away from the situation.Despite your feelings, it can ultimately be the best thing for both of you. You kind of just have to follow your heart in such matters.Everyone shares their struggles, triumphs, and stories which helps them recover from the effects of their loved one’s drinking.
Sharing is encouraged but not mandatory and just like a regular AA meeting, al-anon meetings are anonymous.“Before I started dating my now husband, I was super up front with him about my past. If you’re not cool with that then I don’t think this is going to work.Take those feelings and think of how you would have wanted to be treated or supported.