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To certain people in our culture, complexion matters a lot: the whiter you are, the more “attractive” you are.
I’m regular brown and proud of it, so I chose the “wheatish” category.
After a week we started talking about a wedding: they wanted the wedding to be in Kuala Lumpur, and my mom wanted it in Toronto. Then my dad made a comment about financial assets, which they interpreted as a request for dowry.
We want someone suitable for him, but ultimately who he marries is his choice. I met my husband through my parents, who arranged my marriage.
In India, at the time, we were not supposed to go out and date.
Once you finished your education, you were ready to get married. Then your parents checked the suitor’s background and asked your permission if you liked the match. I moved back to Toronto this past summer after spending the past two years in Karachi with my family, and one of the things I was looking forward to was getting on dating websites, because it’s a normal and acceptable thing to do in Canada.
In Pakistan, you’re limited to the people you already know through your family connections, and the guy has all the power. Shaadi asks about your complexion, and that tells you right away that it’s a South Asian dating site.
This year, I almost got married to someone I met on Shaadi. She’s an IT specialist, 34 years old, fair complexioned, an intelligent girl.