Adult advice child dating mom start when widowed
At first, her two 20-something sons were fine with her new husband — until they settled into relationships of their own.
“Both of their significant others don’t like my husband,” Anne says.
“This even upsets kids who are already out of the nest.
“Children, even when they’re grown, get attached to being important in their single parents’ lives, and they resent it when someone gets between them and the parent.” (MORE: How to Tell Your Adult Children You’re Divorcing) On top of the emotional reaction, Salamon says, adult children may also have anxiety about their parent’s ability to help out financially, as well as their own anticipated inheritance, which creates resistance to the prospect of their parents partnering up.
But if your relationship with them starts to suffer because of a new romance, follow these suggestions from Salamon and Lieberman.
(MORE: Make Your Wishes Known Through End-of-Life Planning) As annoying as grown children’s objections to your new love might be, Lieberman brings up an important point: Children’s feelings are important to acknowledge and address — and sometimes they can even be instructive.
Case in point: Melissa Spence, a 24-year-old schoolteacher in New Jersey, who’s been watching from the sidelines as her father, Richard, spends money on his new wife, Pat.
“I asked my dad if he could help out with my rent for the few months between graduate school and when my job started, and he said he had too many other expenses,” Melissa says.
But when the relationship “took” and Barbara announced that she and Gerald were getting married after three years of dating, the kids went bonkers.